Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Further adventures in operant conditioning
Figure 1. What I want more of.My tool:
Figure 2. The StairsMy strategies:
- sudden refusal to climb them
- whimpering in a manly way
- occasional whole body tremors
Figures 3 & 4. SuccessThey are mere pawns.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Scientific reincarnation
The love of my life and I share an uncanny resemblance to an extremely well-known husband-and-wife scientific team.
Figure 1. Pierre Curie
Figure 2. Yours truly
Figure 3. Marie Curie
Figure 4. Kira
I don't know how much time Marie spent au-dessous d'une chaise, but they do share a certain intensity of gaze, don't they? I love serious women.
They also share an obsession for things that glow in the dark. In Marie's case, of course, it was the polonium and radium that eventually did her in.
Figure 5. A girl and her Glo-Ball
Figure 1. Pierre Curie
Figure 2. Yours truly
Figure 3. Marie Curie
Figure 4. KiraI don't know how much time Marie spent au-dessous d'une chaise, but they do share a certain intensity of gaze, don't they? I love serious women.
They also share an obsession for things that glow in the dark. In Marie's case, of course, it was the polonium and radium that eventually did her in.
Figure 5. A girl and her Glo-Ball
Monday, June 9, 2008
Who ended up with the babe?
Ha.
Kira is coming today. And she's going to be chez moi three whole nights.
Figure 1. Kira and The Tongue
(It doesn't all fit in her mouth when her jaws are closed.)
Eat your heart out, Skippy.
Kira is coming today. And she's going to be chez moi three whole nights.
Figure 1. Kira and The Tongue
(It doesn't all fit in her mouth when her jaws are closed.)
Eat your heart out, Skippy.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Skippy reappears
Remember Skippy, my evil twin who appears intermittently and coerces me into scandalous behavior?
Well.
He came back.
Just this morning, my lab assistant and I walked to the Other Park, the one near our house. The park where you're supposed to be on leash at all times unless you're an attentive listener.
But Skippy didn't read the signs. (Honestly, I don't think Skippy can even read. Else he'd pay attention to the warnings on his cigarette packages.)
My lab assistant tossed a nice new tennis ball into the air and, accurately calculating the speed and trajectory, I snagged before it hit the ground. At that precise moment, Skippy whispered in my ear.
Hey. Mr. Science. You think this is fun? I've got something to show you.
So I followed him. Right past my lab assistant and over to the picnic tables. And then to the bleachers by the baseball field. Then to the garbage cans. Then back to the picnic tables again.
Oh my. Skippy pointed out all kinds of delectable molecules on the ground. In the background, I could hear someone calling my name.
"Hey, wait," I said to Skippy. "That's my lab assistant. I'd better go."
What are you, a real dog or a weenie nerd? First we eat, then we go find some babes.
Before I could finish explaining that 'real dog or weenie nerd' is a continuum, not a dichotomy, Skippy interrupted me.
There! Over there! The mother lode!
Oh my. It was. A different set of garbage cans. With large amounts of Leftover Picnic Things on the ground beside it.
We were there long enough for my lab assistant to catch up. Of course, Skippy vanished, leaving me to explain.
I imagine he's found some babes by now.
Well.
He came back.
Just this morning, my lab assistant and I walked to the Other Park, the one near our house. The park where you're supposed to be on leash at all times unless you're an attentive listener.
But Skippy didn't read the signs. (Honestly, I don't think Skippy can even read. Else he'd pay attention to the warnings on his cigarette packages.)
My lab assistant tossed a nice new tennis ball into the air and, accurately calculating the speed and trajectory, I snagged before it hit the ground. At that precise moment, Skippy whispered in my ear.
Hey. Mr. Science. You think this is fun? I've got something to show you.
So I followed him. Right past my lab assistant and over to the picnic tables. And then to the bleachers by the baseball field. Then to the garbage cans. Then back to the picnic tables again.
Oh my. Skippy pointed out all kinds of delectable molecules on the ground. In the background, I could hear someone calling my name.
"Hey, wait," I said to Skippy. "That's my lab assistant. I'd better go."
What are you, a real dog or a weenie nerd? First we eat, then we go find some babes.
Before I could finish explaining that 'real dog or weenie nerd' is a continuum, not a dichotomy, Skippy interrupted me.
There! Over there! The mother lode!
Oh my. It was. A different set of garbage cans. With large amounts of Leftover Picnic Things on the ground beside it.
We were there long enough for my lab assistant to catch up. Of course, Skippy vanished, leaving me to explain.
I imagine he's found some babes by now.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The Rationale for Canine Nose-Licking
The rationale for canine nose-licking: a prospective observational study
by Buster B. Brown
Introduction
The licking of certain body parts is a familiar yet understudied behavior among canines. This self-referential licking is distinct from inter-species licking, chiefly of the canine-human variety. In rare instances, human licking of canines has also been reported, but Dad has never licked me, which speaks volumes for his mental health.
Target body parts for self-referential licking include nearly every square centimeter of flesh. Licking is most commonly reported in the areas of the twig and berries, paws, and nose. Unless the berries have been removed, in which case the twig is of only passing interest to the canine licker. Trust me on this one.
This study focuses on the nose as target body part for canine licking. Several extant theories have been reviewed, including the 'nervous dog' theory, the 'nervous stranger' theory, the 'licking as affection' theory, the 'aversion to obnoxious popular music' theory, and the 'spreadable legumes' theory. These have proven inadequate to explain the reason for this persistent and puzzling behavior because the theorists behind them aren't dogs, so they're only guessing.
This study is the first to explore this behavior in depth.
Methods
I asked some dogs why they licked their noses. Then I thought hard about what they said.
In other words, open-ended questionnaire to a convenience sample and qualitative analysis.
Results
It's important to note that most dogs had never considered the question. Nose-licking is a habitual and unconscious behavior, so dogs find it challenging to attribute a cause. Nevertheless, they made valiant attempts, which resulted in interesting comments on my blog and also the Googling of 'Primula squeezy cheese' (PSC) because I want some.
Several themes emerged from the data.
Theme #1: The proximity of nose to tongue. The nose also serves as a substitute, albeit inadequate, for the missing berries. I'm calling this the Mount Everest Theory ('because it's there') and the Inverted Mount Everest Theory ('because they're not there').
Theme #2: Good things to eat. The most common reasons proposed for nose-licking were concerned with actual or potential comestibles: yummy-looking food, nibblets in the area, salmon treats, bully sticks, rawhide treats, and actual dog food including tuna oil. Not to mention PSC. I drooled on the keyboard writing this paragraph.
Theme #3: Illness or injury. Two respondents mentioned illness- or injury-related causes for nose-licking. I hope the nosebleeds stop for good, on the one hand, and, on the other hand, I also hope Jozsi and Momo never have to have medicine-hiding peanut butter again.
Discussion
Limitations of this study include the convenience sampling methodology. Perhaps dogs who didn't respond lick their noses for entirely different reasons. We'll never know, and it's their loss to not participate in this ground-breaking study.
Despite this limitation, it's evident that dogs lick their noses for a variety of reasons. This disappointed Dad, who was pretty sure at the outset that dogs only lick their noses to 'get them wet so they can smell better.' Once again, this is an example of humans guessing wrong about the complex reasons for canine behavior. We're deeply mysterious and ultimately unknowable creatures. Unless there's food involved, in which case, we're completely transparent and predictable.
In conclusion, nose-licking is something that dogs do because they darn well feel like it.
Acknowledgements
The author would like to thank Denni$, Charlie Morph, Zigana, Laila, Brisztow Jones, The Regal Vizsla (s), and Rocket
Funding for this study was provided by Dad.
by Buster B. Brown
Introduction
The licking of certain body parts is a familiar yet understudied behavior among canines. This self-referential licking is distinct from inter-species licking, chiefly of the canine-human variety. In rare instances, human licking of canines has also been reported, but Dad has never licked me, which speaks volumes for his mental health.
Target body parts for self-referential licking include nearly every square centimeter of flesh. Licking is most commonly reported in the areas of the twig and berries, paws, and nose. Unless the berries have been removed, in which case the twig is of only passing interest to the canine licker. Trust me on this one.
This study focuses on the nose as target body part for canine licking. Several extant theories have been reviewed, including the 'nervous dog' theory, the 'nervous stranger' theory, the 'licking as affection' theory, the 'aversion to obnoxious popular music' theory, and the 'spreadable legumes' theory. These have proven inadequate to explain the reason for this persistent and puzzling behavior because the theorists behind them aren't dogs, so they're only guessing.
This study is the first to explore this behavior in depth.
Methods
I asked some dogs why they licked their noses. Then I thought hard about what they said.
In other words, open-ended questionnaire to a convenience sample and qualitative analysis.
Results
It's important to note that most dogs had never considered the question. Nose-licking is a habitual and unconscious behavior, so dogs find it challenging to attribute a cause. Nevertheless, they made valiant attempts, which resulted in interesting comments on my blog and also the Googling of 'Primula squeezy cheese' (PSC) because I want some.
Several themes emerged from the data.
Theme #1: The proximity of nose to tongue. The nose also serves as a substitute, albeit inadequate, for the missing berries. I'm calling this the Mount Everest Theory ('because it's there') and the Inverted Mount Everest Theory ('because they're not there').
Theme #2: Good things to eat. The most common reasons proposed for nose-licking were concerned with actual or potential comestibles: yummy-looking food, nibblets in the area, salmon treats, bully sticks, rawhide treats, and actual dog food including tuna oil. Not to mention PSC. I drooled on the keyboard writing this paragraph.
Theme #3: Illness or injury. Two respondents mentioned illness- or injury-related causes for nose-licking. I hope the nosebleeds stop for good, on the one hand, and, on the other hand, I also hope Jozsi and Momo never have to have medicine-hiding peanut butter again.
Discussion
Limitations of this study include the convenience sampling methodology. Perhaps dogs who didn't respond lick their noses for entirely different reasons. We'll never know, and it's their loss to not participate in this ground-breaking study.
Despite this limitation, it's evident that dogs lick their noses for a variety of reasons. This disappointed Dad, who was pretty sure at the outset that dogs only lick their noses to 'get them wet so they can smell better.' Once again, this is an example of humans guessing wrong about the complex reasons for canine behavior. We're deeply mysterious and ultimately unknowable creatures. Unless there's food involved, in which case, we're completely transparent and predictable.
In conclusion, nose-licking is something that dogs do because they darn well feel like it.
Acknowledgements
The author would like to thank Denni$, Charlie Morph, Zigana, Laila, Brisztow Jones, The Regal Vizsla (s), and Rocket
Funding for this study was provided by Dad.
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