Dad reminded me that I actually need a body of scientific work to win an award, so I've buckled down to a serious study.
It's called 'The Impact of Piercing Stares on Human Behavior.' Here are my preliminary observations:
1. Distance matters. Piercing stares from 12-18 inches away elicit an immediate response. Piercing stares from across the room have a much lower response rate.
2. Location matters. Piercing stares in the vicinity of the food bin cause humans to look at the clock and mutter inane comments about it not being 'time' yet. Piercing stares from the vicinity of the back door generate a trip outside. Piercing stares from underneath a blanket (Figure 1) get no response whatsoever.
Figure 1. Ineffective piercing stare technique.
3. Ear position matters. Piercing stares are more effective with ears in the 'full alert' position. My theory is that full earage increases the size of my head in the human visual field.
4. Paw placement matters. Among humans ignoring close-range piercing stares (and you know who you are), a paw on the forearm increases response rates by 80%.
No need to thank me; I'm just doing my job.
6 comments:
Wow you are super brainy. I find the most effective stare to be that when you have pinned your human to the ground and are sitting on their chest. I think if I am correct in saying that it succeeds every single time therefore calculated to a 100% success rate???
Thanks for the tips though I just miss out the single paw and go straight for the double paw thump on mum's chest
hello b3 its dennis the vizsla dog pleez let me no if yoo find enny way to improov the suksess rate of the peersing stare neer the food bin ok bye
Dear B3,
Thank you for your help. At 17 weeks I am struggling to get the Stare thing right, so usually follow it up with biting and barking - its does work but I do not always get the desired result and they seem to be cross - humans eh - cant live with em and can't live without em. What would they be like without us Viz's to help them out
Keep the advice coming - I need all the help I can get:-)
Toby of Warwick
Prof. Brown: thank you for providing some kind of benchmark protocol for evaluating canine visual fixity. I gather that there are a lot of people in Stockholm using their cellphones, so for now all the telephone lines are busy -- which is why you haven't received the call.
Funny stuff.
A+M+M+J
I find a gentle grumble accompanying the stare is quite useful on occasion - mainly cos it makes my folks laugh.
I start with staring then move on to the stare + whine and if that doesn't work I escalate to stare+whining and using the paw. That gets'em everytime
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